The irreplaceable void PART 3

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the Christmas spirit is in every passer by.. Christmas carols and frantic shoppers.. but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock of from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the postmaster was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as i felt that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, 'I'm sorry, Dad.' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went over to the post office to collect the letters without the addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during the time of the year. His answer, amidst his sobbing, was: The letters were for mummy. My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him : "But why did you post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: "I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and so I sent it all at once..." After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say.. I told my son, "Son, mummy is in heaven, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just read the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will read the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside and started reading. And one of the letters broke my heart...

The irreplaceable void PART 2

A year has passed since the episode ; I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up. However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationary shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whacked the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, "I'm sorry Dad." But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy...

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practice his writing, which I am sure would make my wife proud, if she was still around cuz he makes me proud too!!


Part 3 and 4 coming soon ... ;) 

The irreplaceable void..

PART 1

Four years ago, an accident took my beloved wife away and very often I wonder, how does my wife feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable of taking care of the house and kids cuz that is the exact feeling that i have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the mum and dad for my child. There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there were stil rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.


With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home.So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all my energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when i jumped into my bed with the intention of just having a well deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bed sheet and blanket! Boy, was i mad! I was so furious that i took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and gave him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation : "Dad, i was hungry and there wasn't any leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence i turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you cuz I was playing with my toys... I am sorry Dad.. "


At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks.. but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the showerhead on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and apply medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was to me to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well pass midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

Karma is a bitch

watched Manmadhan yesterday.. finally.. nice movie, sumthin diff.. But i wished i didnt watch it, having sleepless nights cuz of it.. And i guess i know why.. 

Baby Mania!!

i wanna have a baby!! haha, i've been having this super strange urge for a while now, more so after i saw d video clip of "meri duniya tu hi re" from heyy baby.. omg, dat baby girl is effin cute!! and as always i'll go awwwww whenever i pass by any shop selling baby stuff esp baby shoes... 
i noe its a big responsibility, being a mum n all, and frankly speaking i'm not ready for it (i cnt even take care of myself properly yet) haha.. but still.. i bet being a mom is the greatest feeling in the world.. :)  i just hope my kids wont be like me when i was a baby :P mum had a hard time with me, haha.. i used to cry day and night :P

anyway, here are a few baby related pics :)

 this is baby angel :) i wannnn my baby to look like her..

 alolololoolo, so damn adorable!!!

 baby nursery

b

baby shoes :)

 omg!! heels for babies!! i didn't even noe they existed :O